Valentime's Day

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. At least, I think it was. When I asked some of the kids at my day care stops what day it was, they told me "Valentime's Day!" Close enough. When I asked them what Valentime's Day was about, the most frequent reply was, "Candy!" Not quite close enough.

Oh, a small minority knew it was about love. (And by small, I mean one.) I kept it simple. I didn't tell the candy lovers they were wrong, because they weren't, but I did say that what Valentime's Day is mostly about is letting the people you love know you love them. They generally blinked their surprise as they mulled this over. Their average age is 4, after all. This was a simple idea, easy to understand, and it made perfect sense. When you're four, of course you tell the people you love that you love them! Doesn't everybody? They don't yet know that this honest expression of emotion often becomes stilted as children grow up. I sure do love those kids, and I told them so.

Assuming that someone knows you love them is okay on the surface. Letting them know takes the guesswork out of it. Sure, I know my grandmother loves me, but every time we part or finish a telephone conversation, she tells me, "I love you." There's no mistaking the truth and the depth of her feeling. I can hear it in her voice. I can see it on her face. I can feel it in her hug. She really loves me.

I hope the people I love know it. I think I may need to work on telling them and showing them. I read a book in which some of the characters had worked out a secret signal to say "I love you" without having to say it out loud. As they held hands, they would gently squeeze the other person's hand three times. I - love - you. It's not a perfect system, but it's a place to start.